A few weeks ago, I wrote about David's love of music. I recently found something I had written last spring on the same topic. So, without further ado….
David has always been moved by music. He loved musical toys as a baby and as his language has continued to develop he has spent a great deal of time singing to himself as he plays. I can usually tell what he is singing, but for the past several weeks he has been singing a song that I just couldn't place.
I was talking to my sister on the phone when David started to sing again. Over the phone line, it became suddenly clear to her as I snuck up behind him so that she could hear him singing earnestly, "Ah ni, ah ni. E choohoo uh ah ni. Ah ni, ah ni. E choohoo uh ah ni."
He then plunged into the rest of the song as he ran his toy car along the sofa cushion.
My sister had taken my older son, Andrew, to a concert at her church and purchased a CD for him. One day when she was driving David to school, the CD happened to be playing in her car and David became enamored with the first two tracks on the album. Three times a week as she drives him to school, they listen to each of the songs twice at David's request. The artist, she told me, is Peder Eide, a contemporary Christian singer and the song David had been repeating over and over again is called "As Is." She told me that she had given me a copy of the CD and that I should listen to it. By some stroke of luck, I was able to find the CD in the rack that David loves to rearrange for me. I opened the inner sleeve to glance at the lyrics as I waited for the CD to load in the kitchen. Here are the words to the refrain that David had been repeating over and over again.
He chooses us as His
Infuses us as is
With never ending
All our weaknesses
He uses us as is
These are the words that David had been singing to me, to my family, to anyone who would listen. I just had to stop for a moment to hear him. As his mother, I have been pushing David since before his diagnosis. Pushing him to communicate, to work harder, to catch up to his peers--appreciative but rarely satisfied with the progress that he has made. I have been focused on his developmental delay, his deficit. Here in his gentle way, David unknowingly reminded me that I, too, should stop for a moment to appreciate him "as is."