Thursday, April 28, 2011

In Pursuit of Trivia

I present for your consideration exhibit A, a picture of a plastic hamburger bun.

And now, exhibit B. Once again, a plastic hamburger bun. 

The same bun, right? Right? WRONG. They are not the same hamburger buns. David has selected a single bun from our expansive plastic bun collection and made it clear that they are most certainly not interchangeable. What difference could it possibly make, you ask? Well, exihibit A is just the right size to fit perfectly on top of a bottle of Oscal and the other is a fraction of a millimeter too large. DUH.

Now, before you turn me over to the authorities for letting my son play with medicine bottles, it was an unopened bottle of calcium supplements, called "pink" by David because of the pink coloring on the label and it was his item of choice all last week. Once David has chosen an item, it is difficult if not impossible to pacify him with anything else. And, of course, the consummate crown to the Oscal cap was a perfectly fitting plastic hamburger bun.

The problem is that David has the extraordinary ability to recall the location of each and every inappropriate item in our house. It would seem that no hiding place or high cabinet is really safe. We still have child safety door handles on some of the doors in our house, but they are certainly not meant for a six year old kid. They remain because they do slow David down, but really only seem to work on my mother, who routinely curses them under her breath when visiting our house.

David has now left his supplements behind. Earlier this week, he reviewed his mental inventory of our household goods and has retrieved the six circular playing pieces (called "circles" in David's vernacular) from the Trivial Pursuit 20th Anniversary Edition. These are his special items of the week.

Since we do not really have much time for game play in our house, the unopened game had been stored on a shelf in our guest room closet. Evidently, the gold box called to David one day several months ago and he insisted on taking a peek inside. The circles, as well as the pie shaped wedges (not surprisingly called "triangles") have become an important part of his daily life, and by association, a shockingly significant part of mine, as well.

David's remarkable visual recall, however, does not seem to extend to the ability to remember where he has left these favored objects. We are constantly looking for lost items. Or reaching to retrieve something that has rolled under the seat of the car. Or searching the backyard with flashlights after dark. I will try not to reflect on how much time I have spent this past week trying to find the pieces from the Trivial Pursuit game--inconsequential game pieces that are anything but trivial for David.

Author's note: The bun pictured in exhibit A is not really the favored bun. When it came time to take photos, I was not actually able to find the special bun and photographed a different one because, after all, who would know the difference anyway? Seeing all his buns prominently displayed on the table, however, reminded David how much he missed his favorite bun and, of course, he has no recollection of where it may be hiding. So, I am off to hunt for last week's stale bun.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Self Portrait

The lovely bbsmum at mum accepting autism tagged me in a meme ages ago, before my self-imposed exile. The assignment: Ask your child to draw a picture of you and post the picture. Link to the "This is Me" linky. Tag some others.

Sounds simple, right? Just have David draw a picture of me—except David seems to believe that he is allergic to any type of writing implement. He usually does make an attempt at school, but has absolutely no patience when I try to get him to write or draw anything for me at home. He also tries to keep life interesting, sometimes writing words with the letters out of order, or entirely backwards just to get a reaction from me.

So, in an effort to bribe encourage David, I purchased a set of 24 brand new Crayola Mini Twistables Crayons with no less than three crayons in varying shades of red. What in life is more exciting than new school supplies? Let's see, for David the answer to that semi-rhetorical question would be brightly colored Styrofoam Easter eggs, which he has been stealing one at a time from my sister's outdoor spring decorations. Or maybe the new flagpole that we purchased to hang on our soon to be replaced deck that has been paraded around the house for a week. Or any number of other items not intended to have appeal for a six-year-old boy, but that David adopts as make-shift toys.

In the midst of my half-hearted, but almost daily attempts to have David draw my likeness, he came home from school with this self-portrait. 

Compared to the scribbles that I see most of the time, I would consider this drawing a masterpiece. I sometimes wonder if they have confused David's work with someone else's, but all the hallmarks are there, including the attempt at a red shirt. And the noses—oh, so many noses. Or are those extra mouths? Or maybe nostrils?

Quite appropriately, there are even butterflies emerging from David's head. Maybe, he was simply dreaming of butterfly moments of his own.

I'm tagging:
MOM - Not Otherwise Specified
The A-Word
Mommy to Two Boys

Don't forget to link to the linky.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


I am back at long last after my amazing adventure walking across the county to raise autism awareness because—just in case you do not own a TV, or read a newspaper or newsmagazine, or perhaps you live in a cave--April is autism awareness month.

Truth be told, I wish I had been doing something so selfless and, well cardiovascular, but in reality I have been a slug, lounging on a beach chair, soaking in the sun and enjoying some (I would like to think well-deserved) relaxation during my once in a lifetime two week cruise to Hawaii and Tahiti.

Did you buy it? I can only pretend to be bronzed and well rested because I have been doing nothing. Well, I have been doing laundry, and working, and hauling kids to school and other activities, and cooking and cleaning and all of the usual stuff. I have been going about my normal routine, I just have not been writing.

For some reason, I have not felt like writing and if it were not for the gentle encouragement of family and friends, I am not sure I would be sitting and writing this post. That, combined with the fact that I actually reserved a spot for a Writer's Workshop in June, so I guess I need to be writing something other than my grocery list until that time. What about the assigned homework—write 300 words a day—caused me to develop writer's constipation?

David has been engaged in his usual antics, finding new ways to make me laugh—and sometimes cry, but I just have not really wanted to preserve these moments for posterity. What's up with that?

Perhaps, it is the late onset of Spring, which invalidated my often repeated mantra, "There are always leaves on the trees by my birthday." Perhaps, it is because my job seems to have absorbed too much of my mental energy. Perhaps, I need medication—wait, did I say that out loud?

Really, I just need some sunshine and someone to pick up my house and I will be good. A massage probably wouldn't hurt either. So, I have taken my mental Miralax and you will be hearing more from me, I promise.