Positive Reinforcement

One of the essential elements of ABA therapy, used in the treatment of autism, revolves around the "reinforcement" of desired behavior. It can be a challenge to find something that motives these kids, so food is often used as a reinforcer—even candy, cookies or chips broken into small pieces. David is not really motivated by food, however. It may seem contrary to any preconceived notion of an autistic child, but David is a cheap date and works the hardest for praise. He loves to be praised, plus a smile, tickle or high-five--once he finally learned how to high five.

Consequently, Michael and I are quick to praise David when he is working hard or practicing a desired behavior. It can be tiring, however, to be in perpetual cheerleader mode. Thankfully, I do not have the pom-poms or short skirt, but I often sport the fake smile and artificial enthusiasm. And instead of something along the lines of "Go Defense" my cheers consist more of "Good Talking…Nice Waiting…Good Job Standing…Nice Listening!"

Last week, Michael and I were waiting with Andrew at the front door for his carpool to arrive. David came to the door as Andrew was leaving and started to wave, again another learned behavior. Michael said in his most enthusiastic voice, but purely for my benefit, "David, nice non-verbal communication!"

David responded almost immediately and as if on cue, by emitting a different noise—what in David's vernacular is referred to as "yatz." It was like he had been thinking, "You want non-verbal communication? I can give you non-verbal communication." Michael and I both laughed, but I noticed that Michael did not offer the usual praise, "David, nice passing of gas" to reinforce that behavior.

Out of the Zone

Each day, I push David past his comfort zone. I would guess that almost everything he is asked to do in therapy, plus many of the tasks at school and at home make him uncomfortable. That is the point—to make him more tolerant of new situations and to be more adaptable. He works very hard to articulate his wants and needs, to greet and interact with people and to learn behaviors that we consider "appropriate" but that can be unnerving to him.

The part that has surprised me, however, is that having David also pushes me. As a child I was painfully shy, a fear which I have been able to overcome, but since David has come into my life, I have learned to be an advocate. I have to be assertive, to ask questions and to push for answers—traits which can be uncomfortable for me.

Image via Wikipedia

So, on Wednesday I was asked if I would be willing to do an on-camera interview with the local NBC affiliate, WOWT Channel 6 about our experiences with David. Now, I may no longer be shy, but I am still not a fan of public speaking, which is my polite way of saying that I really loathe it because it makes me exceptionally nervous. I have been told that I am good at it, but I am only able to keep my nerves in check by rehearsing remarks numerous times. But how can you practice for questions that you have not yet heard?

Well, I agreed to do the interview because I really do believe in helping people to understand about autism and its challenges, even if helping them "understand" may sometimes mean racing into the Applebee's Restaurant red-faced and out of breath to explain--in perhaps too high pitched a tone of voice why, if you offer curbside take-out service, it is really important to actually come out to the car because when you have a child with autism who is not expecting to go into the restaurant and who then, in fact, does have to go into the restaurant that you should expect the Crocs to fly off of his feet in protest and some running up and down the wheelchair ramp. I am all about politely helping to teach people tolerance and understanding.

I also figured that the news crew would come to do the interview and get a few sound bites from me, but after they saw my smart and exceedingly charming son, most of my footage would end up on the cutting room floor. The teachers were even calling David "Hollywood" at school all day yesterday leading up to the interview. Well, they probably should have referred to David as "Diva" instead, because he did not choose to cooperate and alternated telling the reporter and camera man "Stop…Nope…Go Home…Goodbye!" He even signed each of the words for added emphasis.

The segment is not scheduled until next week, but I have had people calling all day. The promo has aired several times, although I have yet to see it. I guess I can give up the rationalization that no one will realize it is me.

So, once again, David has me out of the zone. Just call it therapy.

Wordless Wednesday

I always buy inexpensive coats and jackets because they do not have snap off handles—I mean hoods. Here Grandpa, known as Bitsie to David, has mastered the technique.

Acting Appropriately

On Sunday, Andrew and I went to see a performance of the St. Olaf Choir. My niece is a freshman at St. Olaf College in Northfield, Minnesota and coincidentally happened to be home on break when the choir was scheduled to pass through town. My whole family went together except for David who stayed home.

As I sat listening, I wondered if we would ever be able to take David to this type of event, but for now I hadn't even considered buying him a ticket. There is no way that he would have been able to sit through the two hour performance. It would have been a waste of money and an exercise in frustration for both of us.

David loves all things musical and I know there were a few selections he would have especially enjoyed. But, would he have been able to act appropriately? Quite certainly the answer is no.

David would not have been able to sit quietly, listening to the performance. He would have wanted to dance in the aisles, waving his arms to the music and if he were especially fond of the song he would have joined in the singing. It wouldn't have mattered that he did not know the words; he would have inserted whatever word was running through his head and sung it over and over again.


No, David would not have acted appropriately, because he would have actually given an outward expression to the fact that he was enjoying the music, probably wondering why the rest of us didn't join him and preferred, instead, to wait until the end of the song to show any appreciation and quite reserved appreciation at that.


Honestly, David has some behaviors that I would really like to change and then occasionally I wonder if maybe his way isn't better.